The Graduate Scrawl

Earlier this year my husband and I received an e-mail from our church’s Pastor of Family Life, asking whether we might serve as leaders in the marriage ministry. At the time, our schedules conflicted with the weekly meeting so we had to turn him down, but I was tempted to say no anyway. My husband and I have only been married for two and a half years—what business do we have counseling couples that have been married for thirty?

That question may betray my own insecurity and lack of trust in God more than anything else, but it is also an important consideration, especially for young people who are entering the ministry.  Though seminary education and life experience are both wonderful teachers, where does one draw the line between a wise estimation of one’s limitations and confidence in God-given authority?

This question was raised by the recent release of two books by reformed evangelical pastors. Both Tim Keller and Mark Driscoll co-authored books on marriage with their wives, the latter inciting a great deal more controversy than the former. In particular, Driscoll has been accused of over-stepping his bounds as a pastor.

Author and blogger Rachel Held Evans wrote a review of Driscoll’s book, the title of which was “Driscoll, ‘Real Marriage,’ and Why Being a Pastor Doesn’t Automatically Make You a Sex Therapist.” In her review Evans wrote,

“Evangelicals expect too much of their pastors. In addition to demanding they serve as nearly flawless leaders and teachers, many of us demand that our pastors serve as professional counselors and advisors, experts on everything from politics to science to sex to health to money to marriage to relationships.”

After cataloguing the many consequences of these expectations—many of which lead to the personal ruin of the pastor—Evans concluded, “And so I believe we all bear some responsibility for creating an environment in which controversial Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll can write a book about sex and marriage that tops the Amazon bestseller list.”

Although there is a degree of truth to Evans’ words, it is telling that she did not level the same accusations at Keller upon the release of his book on marriage. Perhaps she felt Keller remained safely within the bounds of his training. Or perhaps she simply disagreed with Driscoll’s conclusions more. Perhaps it is a little of both.

To be sure, Evans’ words contain overstatement, but she makes an important point. The reality is that pastors can do damage when they speak into areas in which they are ill-informed. Christian leaders and teachers can trample over the nuances and sensitivities of complex human relationships, deriving unhealthy confidence from misapplied Scripture. Visible married couples can perpetuate an extra-biblical legalism when they interpret the unique dynamics of their own marriage as a “biblical” standard for all married couples.

The intersection between Christian faith and counseling has tremendous potential for healing and spiritual transformation. It also has the potential for great destruction. Although Christian leaders should not shrink from their call, knowing that God’s power is made perfect in their weakness, a young minister should also be sobered and humbled by the potential for great harm.

This returns us to our opening questions: Are young pastors and teachers qualified for marriage counseling? And more importantly, at what point does the lack of a counseling degree limit one’s ability to give edifying counsel?

I have several suggestions on this front. The first is to encourage anyone pursuing the ministry to enroll in at least one pastoral counseling class. Although a pastoral counseling class provides students with basic training for counseling, it has a second important function. It also teaches students what they don’t know.  As with any good education, the more we learn the more we realize all that we have yet to learn, and a pastoral counseling class can serve that purpose. When a counseling session or a sermon topic is beyond the training of the pastor, he will know his limitations and he will also know the appropriate resources to which he can turn.

My second suggestion echoes some of Evans: A seminary education and a thorough knowledge of the Bible does not make one an expert of all things. Fortunately, God does not call His ministers to be experts. He calls them to be humble tools of the Great Expert, vessels of the One who knows all things because He created all things. It is tempting for ministers to believe they are experts, especially if that is how they are treated. The acquisition of a M.Div. or the appointment to a pastoral position can cause people to revere a leader as more than she is. This also creates fertile ground for pride to take root.

We are not called to be experts. We must equip ourselves, yes, and we must strive to be faithful to Scripture in all that we say and do. But at the end of the day we are only vehicles of God’s grace, nothing more. There is, of course, a difficult tension between wise humility and godly confidence, but it is the tension within which ministers must exist. Straying too far in one direction leads only to arrogance and destruction, whereas straying too far in the other leads to cowardice and inaction.

Sharon Hodde Miller is a PhD candidate in Educational Studies at Trinity, a writer, and a regular contributor to Her.meneutics, Christianity Today’s blog for women.